Rapport, where does it come from? I put it to you that job #1 in a leadership role is rapport! Without rapport you will have no one to lead.
Rapport happens when someone senses that you and they are in someway alike. It is from this place trust begins to be built. The most powerful way to instantly build a bond that will have people become Fiercely Loyal is through mutual vulnerability.
Great CRO’s (Chief Relationship Officer) have no interest in winning some unspoken, between the lines, competition with the people they meet. Great CRO leaders actively try to raise up the other person rather than inflating themselves. They are genuinely complimentary. They are also willing to be impressed rather than trying to impress.
Honestly it’s far easier than you might think.
Here’s a simple example: Imagine that you are out at some kind of an event, and you meet someone everyone is impressed with. Your knee jerk react might be one of two options: One, you scurry away as quick as possible feeling inadequate. (still competition, only you made yourself the instant loser). Or Two: As they speak you start blurting out your own achievements, trying to prove your worth. Again this is competition and one you are most likely to lose.
The people you are closest to are the ones who are willingly show some vulnerability. In fact the more vulnerability, the greater the rapport and the so the bond!
As a CRO you are focused on the relationship, which means building rapport. Rather than whose got the most/biggest…(fill in the gap) Instead of trying to compete with someone who is likely way more powerful, wealthy, experienced etc, find something you either have in common or something they are passionate about that has nothing to do with their success.
I learned a greater depth of this from my friend CEO of BlueFish when I interviewed him for my Leadership & Loyalty Podcast (If you want to listen go here: (Steve Sims BlueFish)
Try something like to build rapport: “I heard that you are passionate about racing motorcycles, (whatever it is that they are passionate about). Tell me about that, what is about riding that you love most?” Then respond with something relatable. It could be something like: “I too love riding, and I got my first bike when I was just 18 years old.” Or it could be something like; “Wow that’s amazing. I have to say I’m kind of envious, I have always wanted to ride, but I have a lot of fear around it. Tell me, how did you develop the courage to race?”
Authentic leaders are great CRO’s and therefore are willing to put their ego aside and show a little vulnerability. A great CRO knows we are all looking to connect, to bond and to relate. Simply put we want to have rapport. Even though great achievements can be temporarily impressive, they are at best superficial, leaving us wonder who the person really is. Conversely, everyone of us appreciates genuine sincerely and with enough of it we become Fiercely Loyal!
I trust that you found this article valuable, if so, feel free to send this to your friends. I eagerly anticipate your feedback and comments.
P.S. Go here http://fiercelyloyalbook.com and get your FREE: How to instantly create rapport and bond any person/team info graphic.
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Dov Baron Speaks internationally and is The Leading Authority on Authentic Leadership and creating a Corporate Culture of Fiercely Loyal Leaders. In 2014 he was sighted as one of the Top 100 Leadership Speaker to book for your next conference!
P.P.S. To be one of the first to get their hands on Dov Baron’s new book “Fiercely Loyal” How High Performing Companies Develop and Retain Top Talent, go take a look here http://fiercelyloyalbook.com and get your FREE How to instantly bond any team info graphic.
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